‘Men refuse to date me because I’m on benefits – they call me a parasite’

A woman is struggling to find love – and she believes it’s because she’s on benefits.

Lynn McDermott, 48, has been branded a "parasite" by potential matches after they find out she’s unemployed.

The single mum, from Southampton, Hants., claims disability benefits legitimately.

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But this doesn’t stop blokes on websites like Plenty of Fish or eharmony from judging her.

Lynn said: "I get Universal Credit, disability allowance, and ESA [employment allowance] – I get the full whack because of my disability. But it's not much.

"One guy told me I was a parasite. He said, 'You can walk and talk, why can't you work?'.

"I'm not financially able to take people out, but most of the men are divorcees who seem to think I'm after their money.

"I'm not looking for any kind of handout in any way, I'm looking for love and that's all I want. I just want to be loved and to love someone else."

As Lynn receives hundreds of messages from men, she believes being on benefits is obstructing her love life.

Despite being diagnosed with endocarditis and undergoing a valve replacement in 2017, singletons have little sympathy for her.

She says people are put off when they hear about her income source.

The mum, whose kids have left home, battles rheumatoid arthritis and receives £21,000 per year in Universal Credit, PIP (Personal Independence Payment) and ESA (Employment and Support Allowance).

Lynn said: "My disability is that I've got heart failure but you'd never know it to look at me.

"I'm put down as disabled and unable to work because of my disability – but no one would know this because I don't have a leg chopped off or anything and I just carry on with my life.

"I had a PIP assessment and the paperwork with me with the issues I have – the heart failure and everything will not get better.

"If [men] ask me what I've done in my life they realised I've had a vast career, I'm driven and I think let's see what I can do.

"I'd like to question why people on benefits are not fit to be on dating sites – these sites ask you how much you earn and what your job is, so I say approximately £21,000 is what I get in a year.

"I get loads of replies. I last went on Plenty of Fish six weeks ago and had 354 replies from people – they obviously like the look but they just don't appreciate that I'm disabled and on benefits.

"I went out on a date with two of them and the first words are, 'Are you a divorcee?' and, 'Do you own your own home?'

"A guy I recently dated asked on the second proper date about finances.

"I said, 'What's that got to do with anything?'. He said he didn't want someone sucking all his money away because he was loaded.

"The pound signs should not be about anything, it should be about what the person is like on the inside, not a disability or that they're 'sucking the life out of Britain'.

"I'm an open book and that probably aggravates men because I will challenge it.

"I've had a couple of people say, 'Yes, everything you're saying is right – but it's still not for me and I can accept that’.

"What I don't accept is that I'm undatable because I'm on benefits and people on benefits are no one, they're scum.

"For me, I don't know where this hatred of benefits comes from.

"Every man I question says it's about what I can offer them rather than what they can offer me and they don't want someone who doesn't have the ability to take them out.

"I can still go out for dinners, drive, everything – financially I just cut my costs to whatever I'm going through.

"All I want is trust, reliability, for them to love me as much as I love them – it just shows they're so uneducated and judgemental.”

Lynn refuses to let judgemental singletons hold her back though.

She added: "A strong woman behind a strong man can only be a positive. It doesn't matter if they have pounds in the bank.

"If people want to judge me without knowing me, that's their failure."

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