Don Trump Jr. says his glassy cocaine eyes were just a lighting issue

This week has been A LOT. When I close my eyes, I still see Don Trump Jr’s glassy cocaine eyes and coke-sweaty, clammy face. When I try to sleep, I hear Kimberly Guilfoyle’s unhinged coke screeches. Both Don and his girlfriend spoke on Day 1 of the Republican National Convention, because Day 4 is reserved for closers like daddy’s favorite, Precious Ivanka. Did you know that Don is still trying to do interviews and that someone on Fox & Friends – !!! – asked him about the cocaine rumors? This is a lot:

— Bobby Lewis (@revrrlewis) August 26, 2020

Is Don coked out of gourd in this video? Because it really seems like it. He’s jumpy and cracked-out and talking too loudly and *sniff sniff*. In this video, he blames it all on the lighting, saying: “I guess there must have been something with the lighting, but they started doing this trending thing ‘DONALD TRUMP JR.’S ON COCAINE’” and then he name-checks Hunter Biden, who has a well-known substance abuse issue for which he’s sought treatment. I mean… we can think Hunter Biden is a mess AND we can think Don needs to get to rehab too.

Don has also recorded robocalls to encourage Republicans to… vote absentee. His robocalls have gone out in Arizona, Florida, Iowa, New Mexico, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Virginia, Georgia, Texas and Maine. In the call, Cocaine Don says, “President Trump is counting on you to make a plan to return your absentee ballot request. Voting absentee is a safe and secure way to guarantee your voice is heard.” I guess the Trump campaign’s official position is that absentee ballots are only questionable and illegal in blue states.

“Cocaine is a helluva drug”

– Rick James

— Bishop Talbert Swan (@TalbertSwan) August 25, 2020

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) August 25, 2020

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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